Down the treadmill road....

Yesterday was a rest/stretching day. Well I didn't do much stretching. I worked and played with my nieces.

Playing with them is my fave.

Today I decided to run on the treadmill. There was a little more rain in my life than I wanted....The "dread mill" is usually my nemesis. Now I have my own and it's not so bad. I love to listen to music when I run outside, but inside I listen to podcasts currently "girls gone wod" is my favorite. 

Today's run went so much better, still hard and not where I want to be, but I felt my legs coming back.

Plus I got to try out my cute new calf sleeves.

I feel myself coming back. I feel an awakening happening... Amen!

Tomorrow is a crossfitt day... See how that goes!

First run to Portland..... Or Enumclaw

Today was my first real run in months... Let me tell ya it was not pretty. My lungs burned, my calfs and quads burned and it was only 2.5 miles. It was slow and quite a bit more walking than I thought, but you know what? It was amazing! I'm not sure how I forgot just how much I love running. The feeling I felt between gasps of air was awesome. I have a long way to go but, so proud to be doing it!

Besides look at this beautiful site!

Then I decided to come home and work on the "devil".... I mean double unders. Double unders are like that bad relationship. We break up, get back together, break up.... We are currently on a break.... The welts on my ankles and arms are proof it's not a pretty break.

Overall I feel awesome!

Day 1 "Road to Portland"

Today is day one of what I am calling..."Road to Portland". Yesterday I signed up for the Portland marathon. 

It has been almost 3 years since my last marathon and almost 2 years since I have ran anything longer than 6 miles. 

I am a little worried about it, but really excited. Worried that I won't be able to do it, or that my body will not get in shape fast enough. Worried that I will hate running again. Worried I will burn out before I get there. These are all a bunch of what ifs though. 

I am excited to be setting a health goal. I have taken some time away from running to focus on Crossfit. The last 6 months however, I have barely been crossfitting and absolutely no running. To to tackle this is really exciting and epically scary.

Life has been a real struggle this past year. Getting married, new house, sick in-laws, sick family, depression/anxiety, and the death of one of the most important people in my life. I have been on a downward spiral. Running really helped me the last time I was going through a rough time, I pray it will this time as well.

So anyway....

I plan on documenting the training, the eating, the fuel, the wods, and all the stuff in between. Sometimes I may even do a video. The plan is to really be present and enjoy this whole experience.

Stick with me

Day 1 reboot (#437)

I have probably started a "diet" , or some weight loss plan or you name it about 437 times... Give or take a few...

I ALWAYS do 2 things. Buy a new notebook and have to start on the 1st of whatever month it is... It's a strange ritual. 

If you read my last blog then you know I was in a bad way last week. I was in a dark place. Horrible habits had returned and I was doing everything wrong.

Writing that blog was so therapeutic. It's like I could see the light after hitting the post button. It was no longer my dirty little secret. I shared it, no longer wanting to hide it. I couldn't.

All weekend I read, I read a CrossFit book, I started reading an emotional eating book and a Paleo book. I started reading blogs I follow again. I started to make a plan. I started making goals.... I was trying to find my light, my fire and my inspiration... I really am the only one you can...

So this "day 1" I did 2 things I have never done before.... I recycled an old notebook and started on the 30th.... This "day 1"  needs to be different ....

Not Cured.... Part 1

Just when I thought I was cured.....

I was pretty sure I was "cured" of all my food issues, the bingeing, the sneaking, the hiding, and emotionally horrible relationship I have with food. I really, really thought after a whole year of success I was cured. I had lost 60 pounds, was running, crosfitting, attending Weight Watcher meetings weekly all while planning a wedding... Clearly I was "cured" Then May 20, 2013 happened. To understand that day you needs some real back story.

My negative relation ship with food began when I was 9 years old. I was in a competitive world of figure skating. When I was 9 I was put on my first diet. At 9 I thought it was kind of cool, calorie counting, my own special food and my mom bought me a food scale and measuring cups all my own. It was fun for a minute. Until my little brothers and I went to McDonalds and they had cheese burgers and Happy Meals and I had salads or plain chicken sandwiches. No french fries. I totally snuck fries when no one was looking. Eating healthy was and losing 10 pounds was necessary, my mom and I just didn't have any skills yet. So I just felt like there was something wrong with me.

Weekly weigh-ins, running laps, wind sprints, one legged squats, and box Jumps. I was a very healthy and fit child. I was very fit and healthy, but a horrible sneak eater. I was fantastic at binging and starving to always make weight. I never purged, I tried once, but it was really too much work for me, no real gag reflex... Lucky or i'd have a whole other mess of problems. I would, steal my dads junk food, and brothers halloween candy. I was really good and never got caught.

This pattern continued until I was 14 and I quit skating the first time. I quit in September and by the following summer I had gained 80 pounds... That year was the start of the worst time in my life. My mom had been going to a manic break, needed to be hospitalized, I had 3 little brothers, a useless father, and no other adult help. I began eating to soothe, I felt scared, alone, and hopeless. Pop and junk food really helped that. I ate everything, and since I quit skating and my mom was sick, I never had to hide it, but I did anyway. I was depressed and so overweight.

By the time I was 17, my mom got happy and healthy. The happiest I remember. We joined Weight watchers with a vengeance. My dad had a really great job at that point, so mom worked part time and we played, shopped, and went to weight watchers a lot. While at the time it felt great, we were still not learning how to deal. We just really had a low drama period and we got to focus on Weight Watchers. We never focused on the issue. My emotionally negative relationship with food.

About a year I had lost 50 pounds, got my first boyfriend, and a new job.  I quit Weight Watchers, then began 10 years of bad habits, weight gain, depression, bad relationships, and food comforting me through it all.

January 2010 I decided I was going to get "skinny by 30" (Turned 30 nov. 2010). I joined Weight Watchers I did really well I lost 45 pounds and began running. 5K'S, 1/2 marathons, and eventually in 2011 I ran a full marathon. Contrary to popular belief running alone doesn't make you skinny, by the time I ran the full marathon I had gained 20 pounds back.

After you complete something like a full marathon, at least for me, there was a day after Christmas feeling. All those months of training and it was over.... I trained and worked my butt off and now it was over. I was at a loss, the winter was closing in, and I was fat again. Then the viscous cycle began. Eat like crap, feel like crap, gain weight, feel bad, eat more... Did that for a a while.

I have a bad habit of being an all or nothing kind of person. ... It's a ridiculous habit... A habit I am still struggling with.

I got engaged in January 2012, long time coming and very happy. I gained more weight....

Finally April 2012 I decided I was going to NOT be  a fat bride... I hit Weight Watches and running with a vengeance. I was on a mission. In November I started Crossfit and that changed my life. I love Crossfit!

My the Time May 19, 2013 I was down almost 60 pounds, a size 8 and in amazing shape. I had never felt better! I was living my dream...

The thing is, I got back from my honeymoon, we didn't have a place to live (our short sale was delayed), The My father-in-law became very Ill. My husband and I were not seeing each-other at all and my job was not helping anything. The last 3 months have been stressful and depressing. I am not dealing well. Food has been such a comfort.

The most frustrating thing in the world, is I know what to do. I know the tools, I know what to eat, I know what to drink. When I am eating my feelings I see it, I scold myself and just keep eating. The last Three weeks have been the worst. I am sneaking, bingeing and helpless. Weight Watchers and CrossFit are not even helping right now. Hoping that writing it down will be helpful and cathartic.

I had 25 pounds to lose for goal, now its 35. I have to get to goal before I have a baby. I really really want to have a baby.  The thing is, I have to lose it for me, I have to figure out how to not eat my emotions.

I really thought I was cured... I made it through planning a wedding all on on my own and didn't stress eat at all! Why am I NOW??? So confused.  I really need some self reflection.

I am going to make some goal lists, set some plans, read some books, blog more, and get back to reality. Food does not fix anything. It's actually making me feel worse.

I'm not cured....

......To be continued

A diary of a recovering fat girl

When I started this journey I was a size 18 working my way to a 20 and beyond...

I am now down 55 pounds. A month or so ago I bought a size 12 thinking that was my size and very happy. I got home and it was too big, I returned them for a size 10 pretty happy, but assuming the pants ran big.

I like to shop, really like to shop. My mother says I could clothe a third world country... even at my biggest I still wanted to look good. I have never been the person to not shop just because I was fat.

This week I went a few times, as nothing fits me... Good will is being supplied by me right now. I miss my favorite grey pants so bad... I loved them :)

I noticed I still continue to look in the plus size or XL clothes. Even though I know I don't fit in them. It's habit to look at 14-16 and XL or XXL..

I bought another size 12 pants of the rack went home too big. Still thinking I can't be a "real" size 10 I did something crazy... I went to Macy's grabbed a size 10 in every section. Like 10 pairs and you know what they all fit and a few were lose. I tried on medium shirts.. Some too big...

I have all these people telling me how great I look. " your so tiny" "you are getting so skinny" but when I look in the mirror, I still see no change. I'm not stupid, I know I'm smaller I know my clothes are way smaller, but looking in the mirror I still see that fat girl waiting to come back. Ok so my face looks better ill admit that. But the rest looks the same. My best friend says I need to study more before and after photos... She's a genius so maybe I should?

The thing is that fat girl didn't really hate herself, didn't really have self loathing, or fixate on her "problem" areas. She was over all pretty happy. She new she needed to lose weight, but she still liked herself. She still thought she was pretty and soooo funny :) and who cares what she looked like she was hard working, well respected and loved by her friends and a wonderful man... Skinny schminny...

So why now I am fixating on my body issues? Why now when I look the best I have looked in 14 years, the healthiest, the most physically fit, am I crying in the bathroom over my missing belly button?(loose sagging tummy skin has made my belly button disappear). I'm not finished I still have 20-30 pounds to go, maybe it will get better. But, maybe it won't....

It's silly I'll have babies one day and then I can get a tummy tuck. :)

The thing is I am so proud of my physical capabilities, the things I am doing at Crossfit are blowing my mind. I am starting to hit the running training again pretty hard ( I'm a spring , summer, fall runner) and I know I am about to hit some awesome times. I love pushing myself and being this fit.... That is amazing..

Maybe it's just an emotional month, the wedding is coming up quick, that's stressful, work has been crazy, and we're buying a house...

Last April when I really kicked this journey in to high gear I had this little dream I'd have a bikini body by my honeymoon , well 12 weeks from now I don't actually see that happening... It'll be ok ill still look pretty good...

When does that fat girl really leave? Or will she always be with me? Or is the skinny girl the one with the problem... I don't know... I guess we'll see.....

This journey is a mental transformation a well as physical..

CrossFit

At the end of October I needed a change. I needed to reawaken my motivation. Get my drive back to where it should be. I needed something to get me fired up.

I had been looking into crossfit for a while. A friend of mine had started earlier in the year and she really liked it. I was afraid, and intimidated to try. I was worried I wasn't fit enough, or skinny enough and that I wasn't going to be able to do it. Not to mention could I afford it or should I spend the money. I just had so many reservations.

Finally in November I made a decision to try. I made a bold move and signed up for the beginner class. I was so scared starting that first class. So afraid I was going to look like a fool or not be able to keep up.

The owners are amazing! Crystal and Anson are the perfect balance. They push you and love you all at the same time. They are special and incredible people. They know your name and remember your strengths and weaknesses. They make you " get comfortable with being uncomfortable" :) I don't think I could have done it with out them. The feel your frustration, like when double unders are just making you so angry. The feel the joy. When you do your first inverted ring hang. As I scream for joy on accomplishing a new skill. They smile and are just as thrilled as I am. That is special.

I am now 11 weeks of doing crossFit. 3-4 days a week and running 2-3. My body had changed in a way that I can't believe . I have lost 8 pounds and several inches already. Even better is how my soul feels.I am alive and so proud of myself.

As you can see the pictures there have been some battle wounds. I couldn't be more proud of them. I love being pushed and doing things I never thought possible.

It has made my love for running return. Running has become something I enjoy doing instead if making me skinny and my reason to lose weight. Now I run because I love it and way to do it.

Now one of my closest friends is doing crossFit. It's so fun to talk WOD.

CrossFit is a lifestyle and a community of people all different sizes, ages, and skill levels but everyone is welcome. You start crossFit you join a family.

I love every painful and joy filled moment.

Moving... On .... And forward...

I'm moving. Moving in many directions. Physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Physically I am moving out of the apartment I have lived in for 7 years. While the last 2 I have been dying to get out of here, I recently became a little emotional about it. I sit here in an almost empty place. The reason for moving is for wonderful amazing reasons. I'm getting married and we are buying a house. I am starting my life with the man of my dreams and we are going to start our family. This apartment was the first thing I did all on my own. I had a great job and was ready to be on my own. The day they called and told me it was mine was insane I cried. I was so proud of myself. So while I am so excited for Louie and I to have our home I am saying goodbye to a part of me. Seems lame to be emotional about it, but I am feeling a little bittersweet.

Emotionally I am moving in a direction I am so proud of . I am healthy, I am active and maybe the happiest I have ever been. I am worth the hard work and effort it is taking to get here. Realizing that took a long time. Eating healthy and exercise is now a part of my life and who I am. Not just a reason to lose weight. Running and crossfit have transformed me. I am getting stronger and healthier every day. Strong and healthy physically as well as mentally. I can't wait to see where I go from here!

Spiritually I am missing something. But I think it's profound to see this. I am not looking to necessarily join a church or religion , but I am looking for some spiritual growth in some way. I need it. I am on a mission to find it.

Moving and moving on is so important. We can not stay the same or in the same place.

I am in a great place, I have so many ideas and dreams I want to accomplish. I am so looking forward to my life and my dreams.

Enjoying the Progress

Since Halloween I had been struggling with a horrible plateau. I was working out eating well but the scale would go down one up one. It was becoming very frustrating. There were times I wanted to quit, but I have a great support system and they would never let that happen. I went to my Weight Watchers meeting every week no matter what. I watched people that I hit the "40 pound club" with reach 50 and so on while I was still sitting at 44.4 I stayed there for what seemed like forever. I was so happy for them, but bummed for me.

January 2nd I started a little detox if you will. No sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol and and only clean foods. I felt like I needed to do something a little more extreme to just push myself.

My CrossFit gym was starting a food challenge and for those of you who know me, know I LOVE competition friendly or otherwise. So I started the cleanse and the food challenge. It really got me back on track and motivated again.

I lost 4 pounds this week and really that's great but even better is the way I feel about this journey. I feel as strong as I ever have and healthy.

I took a photo of me and put is side by side of when I started and I can't believe it. Sometime I look in the mirror and feel exactly the same... I look and see the fat girl still. Looking at his photo was awesome for me. It made me see what I have been working so hard for and thy I can do this. I can get to goal! I can be healthy for the rest of my life.

Enjoying the progress more the the ending is so important. The journey, the lessons learned, and the people who help along the way are what make it possible to get there.

28 pounds to go and I know the journey will be amazing!

2012 A year in review....

2012 started out rough....

I was in a sad low place. I had gained back almost everything I lost in the beginning of 2011. My relationship was in a weird place, my weight was going up, work was not going great, I had lost my love for running. I was in such a low place I didn't know what to do. I started my running face book page anyway. The intensions to make it work and get myself back on track were high. My friends and family were supportive and encouraging. Getting up everyday and trying to put on my happy face was not an awesome feeling. To say I was depressed was an understatement.

I got engaged on January 7, 2012. Best day of my life (so far). While that made me so happy, I still was not happy in my head. Love from other people  cannot make  you love yourself. Up to that point I really thought if I was engaged everything else wouldn't matter. Oh was I in a place.

 I was still kinda going to Weight Watchers, kinda meaning I was paying, kinda going, not tracking, not following the plan and not losing.

ST. Patricks day was approaching, I have been running the ST. Patricks day 5k since 2010 (2010 was my first) The run this day was terrible. I ran slow, I felt awful. I still had not found my love of running. One good thing happened, that was the beginning of the end. I didn't like how I felt or how I ran. Disappointment is not something I handle well. Especially when I am the cause. I started running a little more, I started hiking. I started eating a little better. I was not t"there" but it was a start.

April 16, 2012 was a defining moment for me. I went hiking with a good friend, I huffed and puffed the whole way up (that ticked me off). We took pictures at the top, when I saw these pictures I almost died. I knew I had gained weight but to see these pictures was eye opening. For the first time in my life I really, really hated what I saw. I went back to Weight Watchers the very next day.

I started running more, began running faster and harder. I ran the 4th of July 5k and ran my fastest up to that point. That really fueled my fire.

Summer was great for me, I ran 2 half marathons and a bunch of 5k's each one getting better and stronger. Feeling good about myself was even more rewarding.

Weight Watchers this time around was different. I began creating relationships with people. My leader David is the most inspiring and engaging man. He sucks you in and makes you believe. The ladies I have met there are my rocks and support system. I never could have done what I did this year with out them. They are what keeps me going. Knowing if you quit, or don't make a meeting they will notice, and come find you. It's an amazing feeling when people want you to succeed.

My page began to grow followers and I continue to be inspired my amazing strangers all over. The health and fitness community is unbelievable. I had preconceived notions about "fit" people. The gyms I have joined have left a negative impact on me. Thank you everyone out there for changing my beliefs.

I am not saying it's been smooth sailing I have had ups and downs, losses and gains. For the first time, I didn't quit. I went every week and weighed in no matter what. No matter what that scale said I refused to let it define who I was and what I was accomplishing. I have lost almost 50 pounds this year.  Sure I could have lost more. I could have been at goal or at least very close. Who cares??? I am changing my life anyway. The way I am today is so much better than 8 months ago and I am only getting better. I have somewhere between 25-35 pounds to go and I will get there this year. That is my number 1 goal for 2013. The up and down, yo yo cycle needs to officially be put to rest.

In October I started to hit a wall, the weather was changing. Sadly I am a bad runner in the fall and winter. I was having a hard time staying motivated to work out and eat clean. I wasn't giving up, I was just struggling.

I had a friend start CrossFit the beginning of the year. So.... of course I started researching it all year. Joining seemed scary and intimidating, yet so exciting. Could I be able to do it? I was also worried about the cost and could I afford it or should I pay that much. Was it worth it? Well in the beginning of November they had a special for a basic class. I signed up! It has changed my life. CrossFit has given me something I didn't I had. I found a love for fitness. It challenges me everyday. I can do things I didn't know were possible for me. I am also finding people who are incredible. They encourage and inspire (my favorite things). It's a community of wonderful people. It is making me strong physically and mentally. Plus it is also making me love running again.

Running gets to be therapy and release. It is no longer my only way to lose weight. It's here for my mental sanity and heart. I love it again and that makes me happy.

2012 Was the start of my awakening. I am so excited for 2013 it unbelievable.

NO Fibber Bib Stickers - Review

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How many of these do you have laying around the house? How many of these, when looking at them know exactly what race it is and how you did? Now, some races have the event name on them, but a lot of my favorite local races don't. I have all of my bibs in a box. I have always had the best of intentions of starting a scrap book. Documenting every minutes of the race, and having a race day picture right next to the bib in a pretty little book that I look back on with such great memories.  Yeah...... I have ran in over 20 races and still have't started the book yet. Sadly now looking at all the random numbers I don't really remember the races, my times or how I really felt about the race.

Well my friends and Bib Stickers have found something that will really help me and I think many of you out there as well. Unless you all have super memories of steel or.... More organized than me. :)

I just ran a 5k on Thanksgiving and used that race for my first "NO Fibber Bib Sticker"

Yes you could just use a pen and write on the back of the number, that hasn't worked for me yet.
               

 I like all the details of the sticker...

-Race Name
-Date
-Time
-Weather
-Age
-Goal time
-Place
-Actual Finish time
-Award
-Other
I like this so much, it made me want to have 20 more and start digging through old race archives and have a sticker for every bib in the box.

If I could make any suggestions... The "place" and "award" section bummed me out for a second, because I will probably never get an award and writing 685th place does not seem awesome. Every other section I think is great and I love that there is a place to write notes.

I hope everyone get some stickers. I would love to see the sales on these increase and then maybe they would make a pink one for me. :) But seriously, I think these are awesome and wish I would have thought of it.

There is a link to their Facebook page, go over and like them, tell them I sent you. Then go to their web site and check out all the other fun items they have to offer.

2 thumbs up for Bib Stickers!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bib-Stickers/282256275207811

http://www.bibstickers.com/default.html

The small victories of a recovering fat girl....

I have been over weight all of my adult life, 18-31. I am officially the smallest I have been in 13 years. That is a blessing and a curse... It has opened a world of victories a couple years ago I did not think were possible. Some amazing accomplishments that have taken blood sweat and tears to make happen. I am trying to appreciate the small victories as I push towards the big ones that still elude me. While trying remember I am so much more than the fat girl I use to be.....

The small victories...

• Hudson Jeans...

And the 7 jeans, the Citizens jeans, and the Joe jeans that I tried on last week that all fit beautifully. When I went in expecting none to fit... I think they will be my 60 pound weight loss reward... But to slip them on and to button them was better than I can say!

• Sweaters/Jackets

Fat girls, well this fat girl never wore jackets or sweaters until recently. I would get hot and sweaty... Who likes a sweaty girl.... I wore a sweater to work almost every day this week and let's just say, no sweaty girl here!

• Crossing my legs

I cross my legs constantly.... I couldn't do it for years.... That was a moment.

• Collar bones

Mine are pretty now that I can freaking see them! who knew a bone could bring a girl so much joy???

There are more, less vain victories, like run times and push up challenges or wall sit or plank times. But come on I am a girl and while those work out challenges are amazing and make me feel strong and powerful. The vain ones make me feel like a girl... A confident beautiful girl who every day has to fight off the fat girl that wants to come back... 

It's funny because some days I still feel like the fat girl. By habit I still always go to the "plus" size section. I always grab clothes that are way to big. I still look in the mirror and some mornings I see no difference... 45 pound gone and I still can't always see it....

So these small "vain" victories make all the difference...

Video Blog #7 "To Splurge or Not To Splurge"

When to Splurge:)

Video # 6 .... Change of Plans

Video # 6

I needed to make a change... A decision that is really the best for me right now...

Video Blog #5

Having Support!

Video Blog #4 My Running Memories!

The 1/2 marathon

The half Marathon Sunday was so many things! My best! I had my personal best 1/2 marathon by 7 minutes! I felt so amazing. I actually found myself running with a smile on my face. I was running with such an inner joy I cannot find the words. I was singing along to my music and enjoying the experience. Yes I was looking at my time and my pace, but for the first time it was pride not disappointment every time I looked at at. I felt this new sense of accomplishment. I seriously cannot wait for the next race! Really a great Race! "See Jane Run" Seattle 1/2 Marathon was extremely organized. Maybe the best I've been to so far. Packet pick-up the day before made morning of lines very quick. Lots of port-a potties made my nervous bladder happy. Lol. The bag check was very well ran, I didn't use it but I investigated. The MC (which I haven't found out who it was yet) was the most engaging person. She was so uplifting and excited. The volunteers were very nice. The course although not my favorite was well marked and well supported by police and volunteers very safe!!! The aid station volunteers were great and well staffed. The festivities after the race were awesome! Great after race foods, great booths that were all women related, photo booths, champagne, clothes , just awesome! The medal and t- shirt were super cute, I'd wear the T-shirt out and about! Highly rated race! People I covered a lot of things in my video blog. The lack of support and encouragement, the crazy strange outfits, the lack of training. I dont want to seem negative or like I'm bashing. I'm not not at all! I love the running community and if a tutu gets you out there go for it!Anything that makes you run I 100% support, tutu is not for me:) I was just disappointed that there wasn't as many people into cheering and supporting as most of the races I had been to. That's what has made me run races before, it just made me sad that others were not feeling what I have in the past. Like, what if this is the only race someone has done? That would be sad. I will say the groups were great! Makes me sad I haven't been able to find a group or get a group together. I want that so bad! The lack of training concerns me a lot, I just don't want people getting hurt. And people were. I mentioned it because I care. I love running, I love races and I love the running community! I can't wait for the next race! I have a 5k Saturday with my fiancé and I am really looking forward to it!

Blog # 3.... Running curtesy.... Here are a few tips!

Thanks for watching!

The Journey

My journey has not been an easy one, or quick. I started this road 2.5 years ago. With one goal: to be skinny by 30. That didn't really happen. I lost some weight ran some races and gained almost all of it back.

No, the journey had not been easy, but it has been filled with amazing lessons, wonderful people and personal growth I cannot define.

2.5 years ago I was 45 pounds heavier, unhealthy, and very inactive. I started doing the C25K programmed and day one almost killed me. But I kept at it and I signed up for my first 5K. It took me 41 minutes or so. It was cod, rainy, painful and one of the most amazing moments. I crossed that finish line and felt amazing.

I continued to run races and improve. I ran my first ½ marathon later that year and it was great. I never stopped running or stopped loving running, I just in a way stopped loving me. Putting myself first. Making my health a priority stopped.

My running got weak, and the weight started to come back on.  Last summer while trying to get back in control I decided lets signed up for a full marathon, (Seriously what was I thinking). Of all the marathons to choose from, the Seattle Marathon in November is the one I pick??? Crazy! I trained hard, well actually I ran hard and that’s about it. I did not eat great, cross training was non-existent, and my life style choices were let’s say, not awesome. The marathon came and I finished, 6 hours of pouring rain and I finished. One of my proudest moments.

You would think that after doing that this amazing thing came over me and I trained harder and ate better and planned my next race…

NOPE!.......

I went into what I call “Hayley’s Marathon mourning period” It was awful. I didn’t do anything and felt terrible.  The next 6 months I began to really put the pounds on and pretty much forgot how to run. Sad, sad time in my life.

I got engaged in January 2012, yay! I tried getting motivated, I ran, re-joined weight watcher for like the millionth time started running a little, but still it wasn’t there.

March I ran in my 3^rd St. Patrick’s Day 5k it was My worst performance since my first 5k. It was horrible, my stamina was a joke, my legs hurt, my feet hurt and I had packed on almost 30 pounds.

That was my wake up call, Kinda. It took me until April to really get it going but when I did boy did I.

4^th of July I ran my fastest 5k ever so-far J It was the best feeling to feel myself coming back and being better than I was.  There is a quote going around that is really helping me “ The only person you should try to be better than, is who you were yesterday” I just love that.

The journey has been rough, and I still have a long way to go, but I feel confident in me. These set backs are lessons learned. They made me strong and I am fighting on.

I have a half marathon in 5 days and I am excited, I am just going to go out there and see what I can do. I have no expectations yet…

Every other time I have tried to do this, it has not been fun. I am enjoying this ride every day, and getting better and stronger. I will finish this journey, even though I took the long way. The scenery hasn’t always been good…. But it’s getting better…

Video Blog #2 - Getting Started