2012 started out rough....
I was in a sad low place. I had gained back almost everything I lost in the beginning of 2011. My relationship was in a weird place, my weight was going up, work was not going great, I had lost my love for running. I was in such a low place I didn't know what to do. I started my running face book page anyway. The intensions to make it work and get myself back on track were high. My friends and family were supportive and encouraging. Getting up everyday and trying to put on my happy face was not an awesome feeling. To say I was depressed was an understatement.
I got engaged on January 7, 2012. Best day of my life (so far). While that made me so happy, I still was not happy in my head. Love from other people cannot make you love yourself. Up to that point I really thought if I was engaged everything else wouldn't matter. Oh was I in a place.
I was still kinda going to Weight Watchers, kinda meaning I was paying, kinda going, not tracking, not following the plan and not losing.
ST. Patricks day was approaching, I have been running the ST. Patricks day 5k since 2010 (2010 was my first) The run this day was terrible. I ran slow, I felt awful. I still had not found my love of running. One good thing happened, that was the beginning of the end. I didn't like how I felt or how I ran. Disappointment is not something I handle well. Especially when I am the cause. I started running a little more, I started hiking. I started eating a little better. I was not t"there" but it was a start.
April 16, 2012 was a defining moment for me. I went hiking with a good friend, I huffed and puffed the whole way up (that ticked me off). We took pictures at the top, when I saw these pictures I almost died. I knew I had gained weight but to see these pictures was eye opening. For the first time in my life I really, really hated what I saw. I went back to Weight Watchers the very next day.
I started running more, began running faster and harder. I ran the 4th of July 5k and ran my fastest up to that point. That really fueled my fire.
Summer was great for me, I ran 2 half marathons and a bunch of 5k's each one getting better and stronger. Feeling good about myself was even more rewarding.
Weight Watchers this time around was different. I began creating relationships with people. My leader David is the most inspiring and engaging man. He sucks you in and makes you believe. The ladies I have met there are my rocks and support system. I never could have done what I did this year with out them. They are what keeps me going. Knowing if you quit, or don't make a meeting they will notice, and come find you. It's an amazing feeling when people want you to succeed.
My page began to grow followers and I continue to be inspired my amazing strangers all over. The health and fitness community is unbelievable. I had preconceived notions about "fit" people. The gyms I have joined have left a negative impact on me. Thank you everyone out there for changing my beliefs.
I am not saying it's been smooth sailing I have had ups and downs, losses and gains. For the first time, I didn't quit. I went every week and weighed in no matter what. No matter what that scale said I refused to let it define who I was and what I was accomplishing. I have lost almost 50 pounds this year. Sure I could have lost more. I could have been at goal or at least very close. Who cares??? I am changing my life anyway. The way I am today is so much better than 8 months ago and I am only getting better. I have somewhere between 25-35 pounds to go and I will get there this year. That is my number 1 goal for 2013. The up and down, yo yo cycle needs to officially be put to rest.
In October I started to hit a wall, the weather was changing. Sadly I am a bad runner in the fall and winter. I was having a hard time staying motivated to work out and eat clean. I wasn't giving up, I was just struggling.
I had a friend start CrossFit the beginning of the year. So.... of course I started researching it all year. Joining seemed scary and intimidating, yet so exciting. Could I be able to do it? I was also worried about the cost and could I afford it or should I pay that much. Was it worth it? Well in the beginning of November they had a special for a basic class. I signed up! It has changed my life. CrossFit has given me something I didn't I had. I found a love for fitness. It challenges me everyday. I can do things I didn't know were possible for me. I am also finding people who are incredible. They encourage and inspire (my favorite things). It's a community of wonderful people. It is making me strong physically and mentally. Plus it is also making me love running again.
Running gets to be therapy and release. It is no longer my only way to lose weight. It's here for my mental sanity and heart. I love it again and that makes me happy.
2012 Was the start of my awakening. I am so excited for 2013 it unbelievable.
