The small victories of a recovering fat girl....

I have been over weight all of my adult life, 18-31. I am officially the smallest I have been in 13 years. That is a blessing and a curse... It has opened a world of victories a couple years ago I did not think were possible. Some amazing accomplishments that have taken blood sweat and tears to make happen. I am trying to appreciate the small victories as I push towards the big ones that still elude me. While trying remember I am so much more than the fat girl I use to be.....

The small victories...

• Hudson Jeans...

And the 7 jeans, the Citizens jeans, and the Joe jeans that I tried on last week that all fit beautifully. When I went in expecting none to fit... I think they will be my 60 pound weight loss reward... But to slip them on and to button them was better than I can say!

• Sweaters/Jackets

Fat girls, well this fat girl never wore jackets or sweaters until recently. I would get hot and sweaty... Who likes a sweaty girl.... I wore a sweater to work almost every day this week and let's just say, no sweaty girl here!

• Crossing my legs

I cross my legs constantly.... I couldn't do it for years.... That was a moment.

• Collar bones

Mine are pretty now that I can freaking see them! who knew a bone could bring a girl so much joy???

There are more, less vain victories, like run times and push up challenges or wall sit or plank times. But come on I am a girl and while those work out challenges are amazing and make me feel strong and powerful. The vain ones make me feel like a girl... A confident beautiful girl who every day has to fight off the fat girl that wants to come back... 

It's funny because some days I still feel like the fat girl. By habit I still always go to the "plus" size section. I always grab clothes that are way to big. I still look in the mirror and some mornings I see no difference... 45 pound gone and I still can't always see it....

So these small "vain" victories make all the difference...