CrossFit

At the end of October I needed a change. I needed to reawaken my motivation. Get my drive back to where it should be. I needed something to get me fired up.

I had been looking into crossfit for a while. A friend of mine had started earlier in the year and she really liked it. I was afraid, and intimidated to try. I was worried I wasn't fit enough, or skinny enough and that I wasn't going to be able to do it. Not to mention could I afford it or should I spend the money. I just had so many reservations.

Finally in November I made a decision to try. I made a bold move and signed up for the beginner class. I was so scared starting that first class. So afraid I was going to look like a fool or not be able to keep up.

The owners are amazing! Crystal and Anson are the perfect balance. They push you and love you all at the same time. They are special and incredible people. They know your name and remember your strengths and weaknesses. They make you " get comfortable with being uncomfortable" :) I don't think I could have done it with out them. The feel your frustration, like when double unders are just making you so angry. The feel the joy. When you do your first inverted ring hang. As I scream for joy on accomplishing a new skill. They smile and are just as thrilled as I am. That is special.

I am now 11 weeks of doing crossFit. 3-4 days a week and running 2-3. My body had changed in a way that I can't believe . I have lost 8 pounds and several inches already. Even better is how my soul feels.I am alive and so proud of myself.

As you can see the pictures there have been some battle wounds. I couldn't be more proud of them. I love being pushed and doing things I never thought possible.

It has made my love for running return. Running has become something I enjoy doing instead if making me skinny and my reason to lose weight. Now I run because I love it and way to do it.

Now one of my closest friends is doing crossFit. It's so fun to talk WOD.

CrossFit is a lifestyle and a community of people all different sizes, ages, and skill levels but everyone is welcome. You start crossFit you join a family.

I love every painful and joy filled moment.

Moving... On .... And forward...

I'm moving. Moving in many directions. Physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Physically I am moving out of the apartment I have lived in for 7 years. While the last 2 I have been dying to get out of here, I recently became a little emotional about it. I sit here in an almost empty place. The reason for moving is for wonderful amazing reasons. I'm getting married and we are buying a house. I am starting my life with the man of my dreams and we are going to start our family. This apartment was the first thing I did all on my own. I had a great job and was ready to be on my own. The day they called and told me it was mine was insane I cried. I was so proud of myself. So while I am so excited for Louie and I to have our home I am saying goodbye to a part of me. Seems lame to be emotional about it, but I am feeling a little bittersweet.

Emotionally I am moving in a direction I am so proud of . I am healthy, I am active and maybe the happiest I have ever been. I am worth the hard work and effort it is taking to get here. Realizing that took a long time. Eating healthy and exercise is now a part of my life and who I am. Not just a reason to lose weight. Running and crossfit have transformed me. I am getting stronger and healthier every day. Strong and healthy physically as well as mentally. I can't wait to see where I go from here!

Spiritually I am missing something. But I think it's profound to see this. I am not looking to necessarily join a church or religion , but I am looking for some spiritual growth in some way. I need it. I am on a mission to find it.

Moving and moving on is so important. We can not stay the same or in the same place.

I am in a great place, I have so many ideas and dreams I want to accomplish. I am so looking forward to my life and my dreams.

Enjoying the Progress

Since Halloween I had been struggling with a horrible plateau. I was working out eating well but the scale would go down one up one. It was becoming very frustrating. There were times I wanted to quit, but I have a great support system and they would never let that happen. I went to my Weight Watchers meeting every week no matter what. I watched people that I hit the "40 pound club" with reach 50 and so on while I was still sitting at 44.4 I stayed there for what seemed like forever. I was so happy for them, but bummed for me.

January 2nd I started a little detox if you will. No sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol and and only clean foods. I felt like I needed to do something a little more extreme to just push myself.

My CrossFit gym was starting a food challenge and for those of you who know me, know I LOVE competition friendly or otherwise. So I started the cleanse and the food challenge. It really got me back on track and motivated again.

I lost 4 pounds this week and really that's great but even better is the way I feel about this journey. I feel as strong as I ever have and healthy.

I took a photo of me and put is side by side of when I started and I can't believe it. Sometime I look in the mirror and feel exactly the same... I look and see the fat girl still. Looking at his photo was awesome for me. It made me see what I have been working so hard for and thy I can do this. I can get to goal! I can be healthy for the rest of my life.

Enjoying the progress more the the ending is so important. The journey, the lessons learned, and the people who help along the way are what make it possible to get there.

28 pounds to go and I know the journey will be amazing!

2012 A year in review....

2012 started out rough....

I was in a sad low place. I had gained back almost everything I lost in the beginning of 2011. My relationship was in a weird place, my weight was going up, work was not going great, I had lost my love for running. I was in such a low place I didn't know what to do. I started my running face book page anyway. The intensions to make it work and get myself back on track were high. My friends and family were supportive and encouraging. Getting up everyday and trying to put on my happy face was not an awesome feeling. To say I was depressed was an understatement.

I got engaged on January 7, 2012. Best day of my life (so far). While that made me so happy, I still was not happy in my head. Love from other people  cannot make  you love yourself. Up to that point I really thought if I was engaged everything else wouldn't matter. Oh was I in a place.

 I was still kinda going to Weight Watchers, kinda meaning I was paying, kinda going, not tracking, not following the plan and not losing.

ST. Patricks day was approaching, I have been running the ST. Patricks day 5k since 2010 (2010 was my first) The run this day was terrible. I ran slow, I felt awful. I still had not found my love of running. One good thing happened, that was the beginning of the end. I didn't like how I felt or how I ran. Disappointment is not something I handle well. Especially when I am the cause. I started running a little more, I started hiking. I started eating a little better. I was not t"there" but it was a start.

April 16, 2012 was a defining moment for me. I went hiking with a good friend, I huffed and puffed the whole way up (that ticked me off). We took pictures at the top, when I saw these pictures I almost died. I knew I had gained weight but to see these pictures was eye opening. For the first time in my life I really, really hated what I saw. I went back to Weight Watchers the very next day.

I started running more, began running faster and harder. I ran the 4th of July 5k and ran my fastest up to that point. That really fueled my fire.

Summer was great for me, I ran 2 half marathons and a bunch of 5k's each one getting better and stronger. Feeling good about myself was even more rewarding.

Weight Watchers this time around was different. I began creating relationships with people. My leader David is the most inspiring and engaging man. He sucks you in and makes you believe. The ladies I have met there are my rocks and support system. I never could have done what I did this year with out them. They are what keeps me going. Knowing if you quit, or don't make a meeting they will notice, and come find you. It's an amazing feeling when people want you to succeed.

My page began to grow followers and I continue to be inspired my amazing strangers all over. The health and fitness community is unbelievable. I had preconceived notions about "fit" people. The gyms I have joined have left a negative impact on me. Thank you everyone out there for changing my beliefs.

I am not saying it's been smooth sailing I have had ups and downs, losses and gains. For the first time, I didn't quit. I went every week and weighed in no matter what. No matter what that scale said I refused to let it define who I was and what I was accomplishing. I have lost almost 50 pounds this year.  Sure I could have lost more. I could have been at goal or at least very close. Who cares??? I am changing my life anyway. The way I am today is so much better than 8 months ago and I am only getting better. I have somewhere between 25-35 pounds to go and I will get there this year. That is my number 1 goal for 2013. The up and down, yo yo cycle needs to officially be put to rest.

In October I started to hit a wall, the weather was changing. Sadly I am a bad runner in the fall and winter. I was having a hard time staying motivated to work out and eat clean. I wasn't giving up, I was just struggling.

I had a friend start CrossFit the beginning of the year. So.... of course I started researching it all year. Joining seemed scary and intimidating, yet so exciting. Could I be able to do it? I was also worried about the cost and could I afford it or should I pay that much. Was it worth it? Well in the beginning of November they had a special for a basic class. I signed up! It has changed my life. CrossFit has given me something I didn't I had. I found a love for fitness. It challenges me everyday. I can do things I didn't know were possible for me. I am also finding people who are incredible. They encourage and inspire (my favorite things). It's a community of wonderful people. It is making me strong physically and mentally. Plus it is also making me love running again.

Running gets to be therapy and release. It is no longer my only way to lose weight. It's here for my mental sanity and heart. I love it again and that makes me happy.

2012 Was the start of my awakening. I am so excited for 2013 it unbelievable.